You know those metaphors in which a person is described as a coin? and each side of the coin is a side of this person "persona", one is the good side and the other is the bad side. I've come to the conclusion, that if I were a coin, I'd have the good side and the very good side. Unbelievable.
There is this teacher in my school that everybody hates, not because he is hard, not because he has bad breath... everybody hates him 'coz of his bad temper and the lack of fairness in the way he grades homework and exams.
Last friday I visited the “Head of Industrial Engineering” (or however you called the person in charge of a mayor and the students) to give him my complains about this teacher… I did this not because I wanted a better grade. I did because I was very upset about the way this teacher treats us.
The same friday, around 5:30 pm, I had a class with this teacher… the first thing he said when class began was: “apparently there are still a few students that are complaining about me, so don’t worry, instead of having the final exam the way we planned it to be, we will give you 50 theory questions” Everybody was puzzled and amazed… 50 questions of theory from a whole book!!! That was outrageous! When some of the student tried to say something the teacher simply said: “you can’t said nothing, the ones that complained already spoke for you all”.
At the end of the class a small group of students were talking to the teacher, and I heard him say: “sorry, but ‘coz of the minority everybody looses”… than enraged me!!! It wasn’t possible that just because I complained the whole class was going to be punished… first of all, that is not fair and what I was looking for when I complained, was not to upset the teacher, what I wanted was him to improve. So I immediately stepped into the conversation and said: “Sir, I was the one that complained and if you want me too I can tell you the reasons right now”. He told me that he didn’t care to hear me, so I told him that “the retro that students give the teacher is meant for improvement, not for you to keep doing the same or worse” Then he said to me “DON’T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!” to which I reply: “no, you don’t talk to me like that”.
After that the teacher stormed out of the class room, I chased him down the hallway trying to give him my reasons… he wouldn’t hear me, at the end he said: “you are Victor Padilla, right? Don’t worry I’ll give you a 100 in the third period!” I told that I wasn’t doing this ‘coz of the grade… I couldn’t care less about grades. Then he added “and don’t worry, the final exam is going to be very easy” and told him that he could do whatever he pleases.
When I returned to classroom to get my stuff, everybody applaud me, like one of those cheesy movie moments… I told them: “please, don’t do that, instead of applauding you could have helped me, you could have come with me to the teacher realized that is not the minority…”
I had quite an interesting weekend, with lots of fun, but the part that I enjoyed the best was this movie I saw with Pancho.
The movie was entitled "The Dreamers" -directed by Bertolucci-. This movie made me think deeply about my life and my dreams . What this movie left is striking and simple. Simple, because I do believe is something rather obvious that everyone knows already and striking because it hurts, it is a cold truth (like all truths should be).
This movies portrays the life of three youngsters (an american boy, a french girl and his twin brother), that live their lives in the edge of reality... just dreaming, enjoying their dreams, dreading the day in which life catch up with them.
A dreamer dies in the very moment he/she steps into reality. A dreamer, in order to keep being a dreamer, shuts himself from the world... Dreaming about it but never being a part of it, dreaming of change but never changing a bit. When a dreamer decides to accomplish his dreams he/she losses the "spark of the dream" immediately, and begins to be a part of the reality. It is impossible to try to live your life as a dreamer and also accomplish great goals, because in order to do something with your life you have to get real, kill the dreamer inside of you and then do what you must.
I have never heard of some one famous whose title is "John Doe, Dreamer"... it is usually "John Doe, Doer".
It is simply, of course that in the moment you get something that you desired/dreamed about, you stop desiring it and dreaming about it... but this goes a little deeper that that. We can not jump from dream to dream... dreamers usually do this, in the moment they got something they want, they immediately get bored, abandon it and start looking for something else to dream about. This doesn't mean that it is wrong to be a dreamer, you can always be a dreamer, but we have to keep in mind that our dreams have to have a purpose, and that purpose should always be: "to make them real".
Now, let’s not cheat ourselves, dreams such as “happiness” are useless, we must have concrete dreams, and I think happiness will just come with them.
This goes for my brother (and the rest of us that are just like him). We can’t live our lives from dream to dream. We must have a dream, but we must know where we want to stand in the end of our lives and then direct ourselves towards that. My dream cannot be something like “I want to change the world”… how am I going to change it?
I think that my dream is to become a writer, and a damn good one. (not having pathetic poems such as my last post hehehehe)
I would like to read your dreams…
Mi vida va, mi vida viene
Así como la marea
Mi alma se levanta ausente
Grita por los horizontes de mi alma
Mi vida va
Indecisa por el sendero
Caminando lleva rosas
A la tumba de un corazón sincero
Mi vida viene
Llorando al escuchar la melodía
De un réquiem que por título tiene
“Un epitafio lleno de melancolía”
Grito indeciso y lloro
Por aquello que fue
Por todo lo que añoro
Grito y miro sobre mi hombro
Me despido con un suspiro
De ese corazón sepultado
Miro hacia el camino y me despido de
La tumba de un corazón enamorado
Mi vida va, mi vida se convierte
Así como la marea cristalina
Buscando en el fondo insondable
Nuevas baladas y con quien cantarlas
Why Saturday changed me? Well, it was a slow all-day process, but there were to main events that really got me thinking: “Mariel’s kiss session in the car”, and the “Pancho’s room” event.
First whit the beginning. Saturday night I had really good, pleasant and tasty “making out” with Mariel in my car just before her curfew. It is really distressing for me this kind of situations… I mean, I love them and they are great, but I really have to concentrate in not “trespassing the line” with her. I had a little trouble with her once that I tried doing something new (nothing illegal, she is a minor… just second base) because she told me that she felt we were going too fast. I really really really understood that and respected it, but just the other day I felt she was a little more daring, you know? She didn’t do anything, but the way she kissed me, the way she held me… I really thought she was giving me a “go”… but I didn’t do anything I just linger in first base. I was too afraid that if I tried second base again she would feel the same that the last time.
I mean, you girls please give a hand with this… please! How do I know when it is time to go for it? How do I know Mariel wants me to go for it?… a clue, anything… please. It really scares me… ‘coz some people have told me that girls get bored if we guys aren’t daring enough, but how do I know when it’s time to be daring and when it’s time to let things go smoothly and slowly?
I am confused… very.
(second life changing event will be done in a second post… I really want you retro on this, so I don’t want to mix subjects)
Since my blogg was in a weird mood I wasn't able to post last friday... and believe guys, I really wanted to make that post. Friday night... well out of the question, when your half sleep/ half drunk brother says he wants to use the computer to make a post, there is no point in arguing.
Ok, ok.. I learnt this on Friday: women are crazy, and the sad part is that I am crazy about one of them... The second thing I learnt on Friday is that I do have issues with double standards, and apparently my brother and I have a curse; gay men are into us! My brother was eaten (figurative speech) by a dozen of them, and later on a male waitress was hitting on me... WHY!? Dunno, I would like to think that reason gay men are attracted to us, is that we are unbelievable handsome and beautiful (well, my brother is kinda ugly... but let's not hurt his feeling, ok?)... but is this is true, then why girls don't want us? Are you guys blind? Or maybe you don't like funny, sensible, smart, cute, loving guys?
Saturday... well, Saturday changed me... and it deserves a whole post. Maybe tomorrow.
Today... the morning was sacrificed in the name of school and studying, then I went to Mariel's house to eat with her parents. Delicious food, I juts hope Mariel knows to cook the way her mother does... ¬.¬ his father opened a bottle of red wine (I HATE RED WINE!), but once Mariel told me this one warning about eating with Italians: "never say no to what they offer you, or you shall DIE A CRUESOME DEATH!!!!!!!" (the last part is my add-in). After eating we saw a good movie and then (partly because of a indirect/direct of his father) I decided to say "bye bye" and head back home.
So much to say... too little time... sorry for this "post in a hurry".
Take care... and women... WHY!? WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ENJOY OUR SUFFERING?!! WHY DO YOU TEMPT US? WHY DO YOU SMELL SO... very... very nice ^_^ Why are you, women, so great?
This was a gruesome kick in the balls... life and fate finally got their chance to laugh at me and avenge all that I have done to them. Yesterday was one of the most tiresome days of my life.
I had to read a 404 page book (Goldratt's "The Goal") in one day. I started reading it around 10:00 am, and according to my calculation it was supposed to take me approx eleven hours to finish it, so adding the hours I had to spent in my classes I thought I was going to finish around 1:00 am. Luckily and burning my eyes out I was able to do it by 9:30 pm... and, after a short 15 minutes break to rest my eyes, I started doing the report on the book. I started tossing some ideas and after an hour or so, I had in my hands a decent report, so after a few add-ins and correction I completed the whole thing around 11:00... WOW! I was so happy and surprised by the fact that I did not only finish reading before the time that I'd had in mind, but I was also able to write the report. Revitalized by this accomplishment I decided to continue doing the rest of homework, and about 1:00 am I was ready to sleep and rest... an earned rest.
But nooooo!!! by that time the sleepiness was complete gone... so I stayed up for minimum another hour rolling in my bed and imaging things (one good thing came out of all this... I've came out with a new plot for another short story of mine)... According to my calculations I felt sleep around 2:00 am and I had to wake up at 5:15 to arrived early to my school and be able to print the report.
Today, with a smile on my face I approached the teacher to hand him the report...
^-^
My teacher suddenly decided to change the due date to NEXT TUESDAY!!! Of course all of the rest of my classmates whom didn't do it were happy... I was furious... I burnt my eyes out... I read for 7 hours in a road... the did homework for another couple of hours... just FOR THAT!?
O_O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Life is just a malicious bicth...
And please... don't tell me "hey! you got the reward of doing the right thing!"... or that kind of bullshit... please save it... in a fucked up world like this there is no reward for the just, the responsible, and the brave. In a fucked up world like this bunnies got killed for being funny, children got raped, people die for money, ugly people are allowed to have kids and THE DAMM TEACHERS DO NOT RESPECT THEIR OWN DUE DATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
C'ya and please.... never make the same mistake than me. The lesson is not: "do not leave things for last..." no no no... the real lesson is: "life is unfair... so kill yourself or get over it"
