A flight in Hell
Airplanes… the only real advantage of those expensive bastards is that they are fast. That's the only reason I have for flying in that uncomfortable, suffocating, noisy and sometimes stinky transportation.
Usually i tend to suffer in an airplane because the rows of the seats are so close together that my knees are constantly touching the seat in front of me leaving no room for movement; however I recently master the technique of falling asleep as soon as the flight begins and waking up with the usually quite turbulent landing. In fact I think that the safety instructions delivered by the flight attendants have the sole purpose of boredom, and thus facilitating the passenger to sleep during the fight and save money in drinks and food.
But am drifting from my story…
This week I had a particularly shitty flight. In the seat behind were sitting a mom with her two little children… a.k.a spawn of the devil. I decided to change to the row of seats next to me to avoid, what had already begun, the constant kicking of my seat by those brats.
So I moved… and they followed me!!! For no reason… they just changed rows to keep disturbing my sleep. Then, to my miserable luck, the movie of choice for the flight was… HAIR fucking SPRAY!!!
Argh… I was forced to see multiple images of this fat, ugly girl dancing and parading around her fat arms.
After a while, when my eyes were getting used to that horrid image, and my back was now convinced that the kicking was a relaxation device of the seat… my nose started suffering too… a baby had crapped in his pants!!!
And… wait… the worse is yet to come… the mother, too fat an lazy to move decided to change him right there… in the SEAT!!!!... she didn’t go to the bathroom as a normal civil person would.. noooooooooooooo…
So I had to deal with the kids kicking, the fact chick dancing and a couple of rows away the stench of baby poo.
Sniff sniff… three hours of misery.
I hate airplanes… you have nowhere to run, and they have strong policies against murder.
Sigh.
Usually i tend to suffer in an airplane because the rows of the seats are so close together that my knees are constantly touching the seat in front of me leaving no room for movement; however I recently master the technique of falling asleep as soon as the flight begins and waking up with the usually quite turbulent landing. In fact I think that the safety instructions delivered by the flight attendants have the sole purpose of boredom, and thus facilitating the passenger to sleep during the fight and save money in drinks and food.
But am drifting from my story…
This week I had a particularly shitty flight. In the seat behind were sitting a mom with her two little children… a.k.a spawn of the devil. I decided to change to the row of seats next to me to avoid, what had already begun, the constant kicking of my seat by those brats.
So I moved… and they followed me!!! For no reason… they just changed rows to keep disturbing my sleep. Then, to my miserable luck, the movie of choice for the flight was… HAIR fucking SPRAY!!!
Argh… I was forced to see multiple images of this fat, ugly girl dancing and parading around her fat arms.
After a while, when my eyes were getting used to that horrid image, and my back was now convinced that the kicking was a relaxation device of the seat… my nose started suffering too… a baby had crapped in his pants!!!
And… wait… the worse is yet to come… the mother, too fat an lazy to move decided to change him right there… in the SEAT!!!!... she didn’t go to the bathroom as a normal civil person would.. noooooooooooooo…
So I had to deal with the kids kicking, the fact chick dancing and a couple of rows away the stench of baby poo.
Sniff sniff… three hours of misery.
I hate airplanes… you have nowhere to run, and they have strong policies against murder.
Sigh.
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