... can't kill the beast
I did it and it was awful... I grabbed a box and putted most of her things away. A great percentage of the decoration of my room was like and altar for her and until yesterday I was ready to put everything away... well, almost everything... I wasn't able to put something away, and the sad part is that, those very things that I wasn't able to put away are the things that remind most of her: like a dream catcher, stuffed animals, a lamp and a framed puzzle.
It hurts a lot... yesterday I had a breakdown, I was... I am feeling very very sad and anxious. I dunno where she is, how she is... is she doing well? is she hurting as bad as I am? does she miss me? or she has already get over me, is she already in his arms, being happy... don't get me wrong, I don't want her to be unhappy, but it hurts to think that she is being happy without me and... so damn fast!
The other day I was reading a compilation of poems and thoughts that I've written for the past six years or so... most of them are sad and depressing except for the ones that I wrote thinking of her… has she being the only happiness that I’ve had for the past years… and if she was, will I be able to write happy stuff again or am I back in the place where sad poems and melancholic dreams rein my life?
It’s hard… I don’t want to fall… so far I’ve being able to stay cool… and not just cool… ICE COOL about this ¬_¬ but maybe, just maybe I’ll crack sooner or later. Ireri is gone… for good and all I can do is to let it all come, and let it all flow.
“Excuse me, but I have to explode this body off me, I’ll be brand new… brand new tomorrow, a little bit tired but brand new”
It hurts a lot... yesterday I had a breakdown, I was... I am feeling very very sad and anxious. I dunno where she is, how she is... is she doing well? is she hurting as bad as I am? does she miss me? or she has already get over me, is she already in his arms, being happy... don't get me wrong, I don't want her to be unhappy, but it hurts to think that she is being happy without me and... so damn fast!
The other day I was reading a compilation of poems and thoughts that I've written for the past six years or so... most of them are sad and depressing except for the ones that I wrote thinking of her… has she being the only happiness that I’ve had for the past years… and if she was, will I be able to write happy stuff again or am I back in the place where sad poems and melancholic dreams rein my life?
It’s hard… I don’t want to fall… so far I’ve being able to stay cool… and not just cool… ICE COOL about this ¬_¬ but maybe, just maybe I’ll crack sooner or later. Ireri is gone… for good and all I can do is to let it all come, and let it all flow.
“Excuse me, but I have to explode this body off me, I’ll be brand new… brand new tomorrow, a little bit tired but brand new”
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