Not even in my dreams...

It is strange, and I can't really explain why, but there seems to be a very high level of guiltiness in my life (you know, that ichy feeling that won't allow you to enjoy anything 'coz at some level you feel like it is bad to enjoy something, or maybe you don't deserve it).

Why I say this? well, yesterday I had one of "those" dreams (please tell that you guys know what am talking about?). The dream was great, and I hardly ever have the chance to have one of those dreams ( I usually have weird dreams)... at some point of the dream I was laying in a bed, with *-insert anonymous girl name here-*, both naked and enjoy the pleasures of a fantastic foreplay (and dunno why but we were also having some icecream, which is not bad at all)... sigh, is there something else in life?

Anyways... I was having a great time, for real... but suddenly my father was in the dream!!! He appeared out of nowhere, and started talking nonsense while I was trting to cover my naked, sinful body from my dad... I mean, his appearance totally ruined the moment... *-insert anonymous girl name here-* and I have to get dressed (while my dad was still saying something that I couldn't understand) and the fun was over.

I mean.. what the FUCK is that!? huh?! I am so screwed up that I can't even enjoy a dream? Do I have issues?... well that's sure, but how can I get ride of this issues. And the worst part is that this "guiltiness" feeling is a constant in my life... always bothering me, a voice that at some level keeps me from enjoying the moment.

I could go on and on about this... but I'd probably ended up feeling guilty about complaining this much.. so, argh!

You get the point...