%$&!"@!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s no FUCKING fair… why does this shit keep happening to me!? Today, as my brother and I were on our way back home I drove into a dammed hole in the street and the tire was ruined. If this little details are planned, or fate does exist, of God… or whatever, and this shit is supposed to happen… well, that this the single most fucked up thing ever.

My dad, as always, started bitching about money and the tremendous amount of cash that he will have to spend in order to fix that (around 1500 pesos), proud as I am, I immediately told him that I will pay for it, and I really men it… but what it driving me crazy and very, VERY sad, is that those 1500 pesos that I will have to spent are my savings from months! The money that I managed to save from the last few months (including my birthday money)... I know that probably, for most of you guys, 1500 pesos isn’t that much, but believe me… after the tremendous amount of spending that I faced this last summer, and the hardship of saving when all you get as an allowance is 200 pesos… well, believe… that money, for me, is a lot.

I had plans for that money… I wanted to save it and leave it for emergencies, or maybe leave it so I could spend it with Mariel, or buying something for me, a cell phone, clothes… anything… BUT NOT A FUCKING TIRE.

What I hate the most is that my dad (and mom also) always bitches about money… always, even when he gives me a present it’s not that weird to hear him complain about the money that he spent in my present… and things like that. And, I know it as a fact, that we are not in a very good economical situation in the house, but it really pisses me off to have to pay for a tire when, for example, we have to spent (as a family) around 300 pesos per week (extras) in food because my mom is too lazy to cook something, or even defrost it. I don’t know… I feel like crying… I know that it is only money, and what hurts the most is not loosing money, but the fact that all the plans that I have made for it have faded away. 1500 pesos, not a lot of money, but they meant a lot of plans… who knows? Maybe, at some level, I also felt that it was 1500 pesos more to buy my plane ticket to travel somewhere…

I don’t what is the saddest part… if loosing the money, or the fact that it meant that much for me.

FUCK THIS…