... violently happy

I think I'm finally cooling down about this whole "debbuging shit"... Mariel has a strange effect on me... she acctualy manage to calm me down and stop thinking and paying that much attention to my "nerd" (for those who don't know what my "nerd" is, read the PS at the end).

I had a short yet very nice conversation with her last night.... it seems like things are going well for me... for us.

Also, while I was speaking with Erick yesteday I realized that I have already begin to fall for her... I am willing to take the next step... now, don't get me wrong, I don't mean "poping the question", but maybe I'll start sharing a little bit more. Letting her to know me as I really am. That, for me, is the next step of vulnerability.

I hope everything turns out ok.

I am feeling also a little bit anxious about this friday... I am happy 'coz I will go out with her to Sappho's concert, but I am also worried about the fact tha Ireri may also go. I am not worried about seeing her, not even seeing her with her new boyfriend. I am worried about how she might react when she sees me with Mariel.... really worried. That woman psique goes beyond human comprehension. Way beyond.

Let us cross our fingers and wish for a good night tomorrow.

PS: my "nerd" is the ugly/coward side of me... that being designed to take care of me but also to fuck with my life.