My mistake...

I now know for sure that I won't be eaten by a jaguar.... there are no jaguars where am going.


Instead of that I'll be sleeping in the tummy of one of these fellows...

He doesn't look that bad... right?



... right? =(

My last supper...

A really good last day.

Tomorrow I'll be going to Oaxaca for two weeks to be part of the "social service program" in my school. Two whole weeks in the unknown jungle... eating, sleepling and living in a totally different enviroment. So yes: am a little nervous. So?

So today I decided to meet a couple (like 10 hehehehe) of friends to say "goodbye". The day started early with a great breakfast with my dearest friend Pancho at "Bisquets". A wonderful tiny place in chapultepec. As always I had a blast with pancho, just talking an sharing. An besides he gave a couple of his famous "CD's" (these great personalized compilations that he makes... he is an expert I must say).

Anyway... good and delcious times there.


Later on I had a school meeting with the sole purpose of "informing the students about the next step in the exchange programs"... Boooooooooooooooo-oooo-ring. I managed to stay focus for 20 minutes and then I stormed out of the damned place. I'll get un touch with them later.

Then I went to pick up Mariel to meet a bunch of friends at this great jap-restaurant called USAGI. Again great company, great food and great conversations. I'm going to miss you guys.


Sigh.



After that Hector, Wend, Mariel and I hanged out at my house to watch Amelie (great movie), and i seized the opportunity to pack everything that i'll need for this couple of weeks.


Then the "farewell" with Mariel. Sigh.

You guys know how shitty it feels when you have to say "goodbye" to someone you love.

Maybe I'll post something new tomorrow... maybe I wont. In case I don't.... take care guys and wish me luck.

...



I hate farewells....

The musical baton...

My brother passed this to me, and he got it from his friend Sergio .

.... O.o Now that I think about it, this things is spreading like AIDS or any other VD, but I think that unlike AIDS or VD we get this curse out of fear. The fear of getting eaten by a ragging hippo or being gand-banged by a small African country (you know... your typical internet curse). Enough with the rants though. I give you the musical baton:

Total volume of music on my computer
I don't own a computer, but I have contributed with the LEGAL 8 GB of music pouporri that my bro has in his computer.

The last CD I bought
The last CD I bought was "Black Market Music" by Placebo, and before that I bouth the "Beekeeper" by Tori Amos, and before that I bought "Sleeping with Ghosts" (placebo again) and before those I bought " ( ) " by Sigur Ross along side with Bjork's "Medulla"... and so on.

Song playing right now
I am not listening to music right now, but the last song I heard was "Like a Friend" by Pulp


Damn... this is hard a question. I love so many songs, but if I have to list a top five "all time favorites" my head would explode... so I'll list a top five of the songs that am listening a lot lately:

1." Song to the Siren" by This Mortal Coild
2. "Born to Cry" by PULP (arrrrgh... or maybe "Like a Friend")
3. "If you are feelins sinister" by Belle and Sebastian.
4. "Without you am nothing" by Placebo.
5. "Take me with you" by Dreamfield.

Five people to whom I'm passing the baton:
I don't have people to pass it to... hehehehe... all my "blog" friends already had it. So I wont pass it to anyone.

The chain is broken!!!!!!!!!!!

Uncertainty...

Well.... where to begin.

The weekend pretty much sucked because Mariel was very sick and she couldn't leave the house nor see me (she didn't want to pass it over to me), so I spent most of the time just doing nothing.

Friday I went out with my friends and I had quite a good time though. Although I gotta say that it's almost strange how things work out for me in this "group of friends". I was sitting right in the middle of the table, and to my left I had a bunch of guys talking about women, dating, drinking and whatnot, and to my right I had a totally different environment, where they were discussing more "transcendental" topics. I felt, for a minute, trapped in-between two worlds. I am not complaining, in fact I find it very amusing, but I think it's very funny to have such a heterogeneous group of friends. From a friend that is a "seminarista" (he's gonna be a priest), passing through the ragging crazy girl to the indecent homosexual.

Saturday was one of the most boring days of my life. I couldn’t even spent the day reading ‘coz it’s impossible for me to read “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” of Milan Kundera without stopping every two pages or so to think about what I just read (damn book, it’s so freaking cool that if I read it at night I can’t go to bed because of the thoughts that it brings forward).

And finally Sunday. I did have the chance to see Mariel in the afternoon, but we couldn’t kiss!!! We could barely sit next to each other!!! IT’S SO FREAKING HARD not to be able to kiss your girl when you have a few inches away. Anyway, it was a cool day after all, and the “whole not kissing” it’s really cool once you get used to it ‘coz it makes explore new things, and remember old feelings. Like when we just met and I wanted so hard to kiss her but couldn’t… well, it was almost the same. Almost.

Monday… well I had a bunch of things to do. But what is really worth telling is the fact that the guy that was supposed to be in charge of my group of my “Servicio Social” (by the way, I’ll be going to Oaxaca for two weeks) is really sick and nobody have heard anything from him!!! So right now I really don’t know what am going to do, or better said, what’s going to happen to me.

So keep your finger crossed guys and girls!!!

….

PD: In case you are reading this “Siren Girl”: TELL ME ALREADY!

Such a good day...

... was yesterday.

You know? One of those days ^-^

It was not that good in general... in fact it had a couple of shitty elements... such as Mariel failing Math and my mom exploiting me at her work, but it ended in such an excelent way that I really don't have the right to complain.

In fact as the day crept on I was ploting an "angry post" about how awful my mom acts towards me when I help her at work, and about how unfair is life when your girls suddenly starts crying over the phone 'coz she failed. A couple of things that really got me both angry and sad.

I talk to Mariel and agreed to meet in at her place just to hang (she didn't really wanted to go out 'coz she felt like she didn't deserved it) and so I prepared a "don't worry is just Math, so feel better" combo!!! That included:
* One galon of chocochip vanilla icecream
* A couple of "pulseritas"
* A necklace and a couple of earrings that my mom bought for her
* An Oreo Icream

After I bought these (the icecreamd 'coz the rest I already had) and got into the car I was recieved by a whole spot on Tori Amos (which is one of the rarest things ever), followed by her song "Past the Mission" and later by "The First in the Gang to die" by Morrisay and finally a great song by PJ Harvey.

That guys... was a sign of "good times are here" It's just great to be able to hear such nice music on the radio. Blessed "Factor 91.5".

When I got to Mariel's house she was waiting for me outside her house (that was a sign of real sadness) so I got out of the car and just hug her for a while. The rest of the day was dominated by icecream, hugs, kissu sessions and videogames.

Such a good day... ^-^

....


PD: Mariel already talk to her dad and things are fine. She agreed to pay for her own summer, so she will get a job. Well, I guess the "grown up summers" finally caught up with her, but she is happy. She expected much worse.

Los pensamientos que traicionan

Me detengo a pensar en el alcance que tienen nuestras acciones, en el alcance de nuestras sonrisas. ¿Cómo puede afectar una sonrisa en la vida de una persona? Nuestra sonrisa. Ese pequeño momento decisivo en el que nos debatimos entre ser indiferentes o realmente conectar con alguien, aunque sea por un momento.

Pienso en las personas cuya existencia y su simple energía dan esperanza a este mundo, en su manera de sonreír, en su manera de existir. En el alcance que han tenido estas personas en mi vida. En las sonrisas que han evocado en mi.

Sueño con el día en que las máscaras caigan y las sonrisas vengan de dentro. El día donde los colores de la realidad se confundan con los colores de la fantasía y del arte. Sueño mientras las sombras de la realidad se ciernen sobre mí y cada vez te siento más lejos, más delicada.

Pero sobre todo sueño con tu sonrisa.

Trato de sonreir a tu manera. Libre. Ser en los demás lo que tu has sido en mi. Una fuerza que levanta, que revive, un poder aún más misterioso que el amor. Una sonrisa puede hacer la diferencia en la vida de una persona. Una sonrisa en un momento adecuado puede inyectar lo que necesitas para seguir adelante. Una sonrisa dadora, verdadera y profunda. Sin velos. Sonrío como tú me has enseñado, dejando atrás todo odio, y dejando la tristeza para los momentos de llanto.

Te dedico algo más que mis sueños, que mis pensamientos. Te dedico mi sonrisa que esta ahí gracias a tí.


//end of rants

Just plain tired...

Damn.... when things get too heavy and tiresome I don't even have what it takes to write a decent post º.º

Stupid finals. I have barely see my friends and Mariel.


Sniff sniff...

*hug*

I was going...

... Through my old poems and writings. Things that I have kept with me since my third semester in high school (that was about the time when I decided to start writing).

Man... some of this things are harsh and painful. Things that I wrote in a dark period of my life and while I read them I can't stop myself from remembering... and all those feelings haunt me again. In the other hand I have also great things, happy things that help me remember about the first time that I felt in love.

Check this out:

"Dreams get caught in the night, they are afraid of the light. Sometimes I wonder if I really want to wake, maybe it is possible to never open my eyes and die in that dream. I remember that morning when I opened my eyes and cry, I heard the birds, I felt the sun and I long for the night, for the dream; because in that dream I dreamt a kiss from you, because in that dream I dreamt I touch from you, because in that dream I heard you say I Love you."

This one came upon me the first time I ever fetl heartache...

And this one:

have you ever fell a hole in your chest,
have you ever see a star in her eyes,
have you ever need to just look at her smile,
have you ever fell for someone?

It hurts in my heart when she is not around
It hurts even more when she is in my arms
Who would have tell, no one could imagine
That this lonely soul could have ever fall

I wrote it the first time I felt in love... a now nameless girls that manage to make understand that all those "someone sisters" out there were girls... that smell nice and kiss smoothly. For that I am thankful nameless girl.

So many things…

It’s great to be able to read all these things… they are like a time machine. They have to ability to take you back and make you feel it all over again.

Never… never underestimate the power of writing.

Mentiría talvez...

Si te dijera que te amaré
Mientras el sol brille

Y el valiente peleé
Mentiría tal vez…

Si te dijera que te amaré
Mientras la marea arrulle
Y las aves vuelen
Mientras haya esperanza
Y hasta el fin de los tiempos
Mentiría tal vez…

Si te dijera que te amaré
Mientras el viento sople
Y las estrellas destellen
Mentiría también…

Si mañana el sol dejara de brillar,

El valiente de pelear,
La marea de arrullar y
Los arroyos de correr,
Si la esperanza muriera y
se llevara a luna,
y el fin de los tiempos impida
un nuevo amanecer
te amaré

Pues te amo sin límite de tiempo,
Te amaré mientras tu nombre evoque una sonrisa,
Y mi corazón tiemble por tus caricias,
Te amaré no por siempre,
Pues el tiempo suele dar excusas,
Te amaré mientras mi corazón me lo permita
Y en mi existan rastros tuyos
Te amaré.

...

If you guys have the chance check this post on my bro's blog... it's worth reading, so bear with his rants ^-^