Good vibes...

I just heard that one of my friends got hit by a car last sunday... he hasn't wake up yet.


Please... to all of you readers... friends or not, please send good vibes. This guy is one of the nicest and sweetest friends I've ever had.

So from the bottom of my heart and yours... send him good vibes.

I remember...

... this one time, i believe it was back in high school or the early months of my career, in which Pancho and Camila told me, that from the whole gang I was the one with the best "emotional intelligence". This swept me off. For real... it was one of those moments that changes you and defines you. I have never thought I had a good E.I 'till that day... and from that day on I tried to keep it up.

I am the kinda guy that really explodes when angry, and believe you want me in you side... but besides that particularly troublesome detail I think I handle my feelings quite nicely, and tend to built good relationships. Besides… it has being a while since the last time I felt really angry.

But lately... sigh

Lately I've felt things that are... well, new to me. And I swear I used to think I was above these kinda feelings... but the strongest one right now is confusion.

Serendipity or High Fidelity...

Definitely Closer... "we all have a moment in which we made our choice"...

But... I think only time can ever tell me if I made the right one.

Now I know what my bro mean when he writes: *sigh*

POP

I feel pop right now... I dunno, but lately I've having this feeling of "normality" that I have barely felt. These past few days I've had a couple of moments in which I realize that i am not as "freak" as I thought I was... I have feelings and thoughts that are, well, popular.

Strange...

hmmmm...

I am normal...

I don't... like... it.

I'll dwell more on this tomorrow.

And it all comes down to this...

Life, relationships, the future and booze.

Those four things are the ingredients of almost every good conversation. Yesterday... well I have to admit that I had really low expectations for the party I attend. At some point I thought I was spending the night with Ana Lore and Mariana (which is not bad at all), catching up and talking, but as people started showing up and the environment built in... I ended having a great time.

Lots of nice things happened yesterday night, but one that I remember quite fondly was when we ended up talking about relationships... and the differences between a woman and man when we face a break up. The things that go through our minds, what we usually do and what we usually want. It's really cool... having this kinda talk in a group both full of males and females, and what's more important is that we all had something to share... something to add to the common knowledge gathered.

By the end of the night there were only four of us left: Hugo, Hapo, Ana Lore and I. And I had a great chat with Hugo about life and the future... and the utter motive for us to be working and studying.

We should really start the "Escuela de Filosofía Urbana Campus Guadalajara"... it would be soooooo great ^-^

Anyway... the whole thing ended about 2 am, and I frankly wanted to keep on the good times but everybody felt tired at that point and we decided to go home.

I wanna be a doctor...

It's decided... the best and more convenient profession in the world is medicine.

This last weekend I had some problems with my left eye... you know constant scratching, redness taking over the whiteness, and those kinda things. So my mom freaked out and told me that I should go and see a doctor just to make sure "You don't play with your health young man!".

So I did... and the doctor charges me 500 pesos (like 45 dlls) just to tell there was nothing wrong with me!!! The whole thing took less than five minutes... and WHAM!!! Thank You for coming! Here is your bill!

That's not right...

At least I know for sure I have healthy eyes... ¬_¬

PD: am going to a party tonight... let's hope I have fun ^-^

I guess...

one will never know when good times are coming. You can plan things, you can only wish for things to be great and worthy or remembering for quite a while... but usually things just are. And it's not about how much planning you make, not about how much money you have invest in a certain ocation... it's not even about the company. No. I have discovered that it's our choice and happiness does not depends of none but us. But me.

Friday night I invited some friends to sleep over... well, they took it quite literally... they did come to my house to sleep ¬_¬ We didn't do any of the thing I had planned for the evening... we... slept. (this is an example of what I was saying)

Saturday I had a wonderful day. One of those days that I'll probably remember for the rest of my life, and I only needed rain and giving into the moment.

Anyway...

I picked up Mariel around 6:30 and we were supposed to go to Chapultepec to hear some of the concerts, maybe drinking some coffee and meeting some friends later that night. But as soon as we arrive to Chapultepec the firs torment of this rain season decided to fall.

We... were... so... soaked!!!! And so freaking cold! But it was really great. We meet Omi and her girl Claudia, the we say Alberto and her cousing Alejandra... and as we were running trying to find a shelter we met Jose Carlos... and then... (guess what?) I ran across a couple of friends form my school, Mariana and Alejandra (and their gang)... so we ended all squeezed under the same roof just shivering, laughing and talking.

Yep... those are good times. No planning... just happening.

After that we went to Pancho's house to have some hot tea and just warm ourselves up. Nice tea and good laughs.

I guess that life is always willing to give me a precious memory... I just have to learn to receive them... to open my mind to the possibilities of the moment and just... be. Whatever I need to be at the moment... truly experience it.

.
.
.


PD: Mariel was wearing white...^-^ So yep... having a super sexy girlfriend, dressed with a sexy withe top is just GRRRRRRREAT when it's raining.

Somehow I knew it...

I came upon this quiz in Julio's Blog.

It was fun taking it... and well this is the outcome for me.


Perhaps the most alienated of all the clans, Clan
Malkavian's mention makes the blood of most
vampires run just a little colder. Some say the
clan to be the keepers of secrets older and
more terrible than any but they could imagine.
This is reinforced by their thorough command of
the powers of perception. They can see things
few others can, from the physically unseen to
the twisted depths of the subconcious mind
right up to the wrinkles in fate that might be
more than just chance. But obscuring, or some
might say causing, all of this is the madness
that runs in their cold veins, twisting the
minds of all the clan's members to frayed
wrecks of sanity. Or perhaps just thrusting
them, thrashing and screaming, into a whole new
level of horrible awareness.


Which Vampire: The Masquerade clan do you belong in?
brought to you by Quizilla

Spring...

What else can I say?


Spring time... everything is sweet, everything flourishes. Is a time to smile and be happy, and it’s also a time to write bullshit in ours blogs.

I HATE SPRING!

This few months are awful. Hot, dry and horny months in which the urge for rain, clouds are sex are so huge that makes you wanna explode… especially when you don’t have rain, clouds nor sex ¬_¬

Good things though. I manage to write yet another short story. It’s like a second version of a previous one written in a couple of months ago. I tried to make it much more enjoyable this time, shorter, darker and stronger. I haven’t selected the chosen one to be the first person to read it. I hate that part: when people actually read your stuff.

But let me get back to the whole “hating spring” issue. “Why so suddenly?” You must wonder. What happened to me today is that everywhere I looked I saw pretty girls in pretty spring/summer clothing, with pretty suntans… and ARGH!


WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO US GIRLS!!! WHY MUST YOU TEMPT US!!!

Why must you smell and look so nice? … sniff sniff.
.
.
.

PD: tell me already!!! (you know who! =P)

What to do?

What to do with all the poverty in the world?

We all know that poverty is part of a cycle almost imposible to break, and the number of poor people is growing by the minute. But first of all let me leave this clear: when I say "poor" I refer to people that acctually die of hunger, people that do not have an active part in society nor in the economical wheel. They just exist to suffer. So.

So what's their reason to exist? Do they have one? Are they here to remind us of how lucky we are?

When I was in Quiego I had the chance to see poverty, but not "extreme poverty". I mean this people still have food (corn and beans, but food nonetheless), they had the chance to put clothes on and the opportunity to have a decent life (full of limitations but also full of pride).

What can we do for them? Is there something to be done for those millions of people out there that die of hunger was I write this?

Bargh!.... I dunno.

Just the other day my brother and I were joking about the option of killing them all... we just nuke the poor fellows and end their misery.

*HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT INHUMAN BASTARD!*

Yes, yes... maybe that's what you are thinking. And guess what? You are probably right, but hang on... Is that such a bad idea?

These people know nothing but suffering... they live an average of 20 years of which most of them are fill with hunger, thrist, disease and pain.

Ending their misery is such a bad idea? Is it really such a bad idea?


What do you think?

Now I understand

... what Neil Gaiman once said about the hard part of being a writer: not being able to put in written words what you think. The hard part is not getting ideas, or at least not for me. I get an average of three or four neat ideas for a poem, a short story or a post per day... noup... the hard part is when you actually sit down to write them and all those images and feelings inside of you became shit once you write them.

Its funny, but it happens.

It's like when you desperately want to talk to someone, and you have all figure it out, all this beautiful words that are meant to shine thru your heart... but once you said it, you sound something like this: "BERF!!! BARF!!! POOK POOK!!! ME LIKES YOU!!!"

Am in a shitty spot right now. There is a cool, interesting writing project that has being revolving around my head for a while now. A set of short stories that together may do something like a novel 'coz they all have the same topic and the setting, but I can't seem to pass from page two of the first short story.

Curses.

In other news, I just finished reading “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” and it rocked. I loved the book and most of the ideas expressed.

I made cookies today ^-^

And am starting to miss a hell lot of people.

Life is so

WEIRD...

It keeps throwing me curve balls.

Bargh... I have so many things to say, to write... but ironically this blog is somehow way too popular and unsafe for me write them down.

I miss...
I want...
I need...

But here I stand, trying to live the best way I can... trying to cut the bullshit, and all the missing, the wanting and the needing are suddenly forbidden.

.
.
.
I am gonna try to write a somehow coded post later.

Is there another way??? (3)

I've being making myself this question over and over again since one of my mates ask the same thing when we were in Quiego.

I came back to GDL with a bitter-sweet taste in my mouth. I've found that humans are good by nature, and it's by this so called "civilization" that we have lost that primal innocence, our true nature. A town that for 200 years have stayed almost untouched by other cultures, by other ideas... untouched by corruption.

But in the other hand I'va seen hunger, sickness, poverty and hipocresy right into their eyes.

Did you know that in this town, where they have barely enough water to survive and a few lightballs per house... in this same town where they lack of phone lines, gas and a good clinic they have a CCA (Centro Comunitario de Aprendizaje) that is part of the e-mexico project. They have freaking internet in the town (6 computers sharin one connection)!!! But that is not it! They told me that one of the indicators of poverty in the world is the presence of internet... so when an international ONG like the ONU or the UNESCO does a quick search in Mexico and they see that all these forgotten towns have internet thay say "hmmm... they are not poor"!

So... just like that!!!! KABLAM!!!!! Mexico is not as poor as it used to be last year. Things are going great mister FOX!!!! Thank you!!! This new government is changing this for good. Let's vote for them!

This poeple eat what they cultivate... they have a diet based on "maiz y frijol". When they got sick they are forced to stay in bed until they die or outbest the sickness, and their only change of growth in their lives is to abandon their homes.

Is there another way?

Does things have to be like this?

Is there another way??? (2)

Day 3:
An early morning again. Up and ready by 5:30, but this time it seemed somehow easier. A good work at the hortalizas. Followed by my very first class as a teacher!!! I taught "Oratory", and I gotta say that I rocked! ^-^

Later I had a great time with my Quiego family, I spent a couple of hours sharing with them and "desgranando el elote". While I was helping them, Filomeno's sister Angelica, said that it would be nice if I stayed to live with them forever. I got too freaking nervous.

I discovered an "Omnlife Center" there.... damn Vergara!!!

Day 4:
Today I had the 5:30 walk alone 'coz Salim spent the night in the "Internado", so I walked alone. It's really REALLY awesome to walk alone, under the moonlight with the sole sound of yours steps... so peaceful. Besides I have never seen so many stars in my entire life!

When I arrived to my morning work I said goodbye to the "hortalizas" and started working in the green house (or what by the end of the week we manage to make it look like one) ´coz they needed men to do the hard work.

My back suffered the consecuences...

Day 5:
Same all... same all, but with the difference that I ate rabbit for the first time in my life!!! It tastes like chicken only with less meat.

Sniff sniff... I got a tummy ache =(

Day 6:
The sixth day was one of the hardest. With my tummy hurting, my back also in pain and the weight of almost an entire week of hardwork on my back I felt a little down.

I missed Mariel a lot... but Cuco and Ana Lore managed to make me feel better.

Day 7:
Saturday... so no classes today (I've giving Oratory and Reading classes the whole week).
We siezed the opportunity and spent the entire day working at the green house. By this day I was so used to the hard work that the 5:30 am walk was a piece of cake (in fact we completed it in only 17 mins v.s the half an hour that took us the first day).

By the end of the day what seemed to be a wasteland was now more in the real of a green house. That, my friends, feels good.

Day 8: Tequio Day
In these kinda comunities the sense of belonging is really strong, so whenever someone needs to get something done, and it can't be done alone, the whole community helps in an activity that is called "Tequio" in which everyone works and contributes with materials, water and food.

Another day of hard work, but I enjoyed that sense of community... we should be like this everywhere.

Day 9: Goodbye
The last day in Quiego. The guys from the school took us to the river to spent the day. A great experience I gotta say, but a sad one as the day came to an end and we all had to say goodbye.


I spent two whole weeks in Oaxaca... 14 days of wich 2 were spent in the road, 9 in Quiego and three more in Oaxaca the capital (we visited Monte Alba, El Arbol del Tule and Mitla).

Is there another way???

I just came back home from my social service in Santa María de Quiegolani in Oaxaca (this webpage was developed as one of the projects of this service).

Something really changed inside of me during those couple of weeks... i mean, you just can't pass through this kinda experiences untouched. You can't ignore poverty once you taste it, you feel it.... you live it.

Anyway... here goes a short chronic of my life in Quiego:

Day one:
We arrived at Quiego around 5 pm after 25 hours of traveling... so we were all so very tired and just wanting to eat and sleep; however we needed to find a family that would take us in (each of us stayed in one different house)

At first I was really nervous 'coz of the way we were supposed to be assigned to the families. We were all stading in a line and several kids from the highschool would pick us, but I was lucky and got a family real fast.

I stayed with Filomeno. His house was made of "adobe", had no running water, no bathroom, had only one room and the kitchen, and they were a total of 6 family members. I would have never thought that I could grow to love such a place in such a short period of time. By the end of the project I left there leaving behind not just a house... but something that felt more like a home.

My Quiego family gave me everything they had... in fact they insisted to sleep in the kitchen floor so I could share the bedroom with Filomeno more comfortably. I wanted to share the "beds" (more like a wooden table) with the whole family, but they wouldn't let me. Now that's hospitalarity.

Day two:
I was up by 5:30 am. Damn.

I was part of a project called "hortalizas" that basically consisted of working two hours straight in order to prepare the beds where we would later plant stuff (that's right stuff... I wasn't sure of what we were plating). It was very tired not only 'coz of the two hours of work, but also 'coz in order to arrive to the working place we had to walk/climb during half an hour... and believe guys, doing that at 5:30 am can be really tiresome.

The rest of the day we spent it in a classic "Color's War" (one of those events in which the whole school is divided in two colors and then face each other in several competitions). I was green and I managed to gain a reputation as "El Griton" and that's how people continued calling me for the rest of the week heheheheh. I gotta say it's real nice to have a whole town knowing you that fast. I gave then a good impresion very fast and since day twoI was making new friends ^-^

We loose in the end... the green team I mean, but I had a great time anyway, and by the end of the day the kids from the school organized a party for us.




... to be continued