Where am I?

Suddenly you woke up in your room, the light's slowly crawling in your body. Warming up your whole body, 'till it reaches your eyelids and you have no choice but to open your eyes... and right then, in that waking moment, you ask yourself "where am I"?

This question goes deeper than just my location. It's not the kinda question you ask yourself after drinking too much or getting high... it's not as in surprise. No. Where am I in my life? And more important, am I where I want to be right now?

I am full fledged man now. My 21st birthday is closing in and I still feel like a child. I have all this thoughts, fears, dreams, plans... but nothing more. Where am I? I am living my 20th year of life, studying in one of the best colleges in the world, with the best bunch of friends and relatives that a man (or a child) could ask... yes... but I don't feel like I deserve them.

Where is my significant other? Is she thinking about me? Is she also feeling this kinda nonsense? Or is she thinking about her morning cereal?

Where are my friends? Are they thinking big? Are they O.k? Are the happy? Are they thinking about me? Or they are also caught in theirs own lives, oblivious of the rest of the world.

Is here where I want to be? Right here in this bed? In this body? In this life with these problems and these friends? Am I going in the right direction?

Or will I wake up, at the age of 40, scared and tired like today and I will ask myself the same question. Over and over again.

Where am I?